recording notes: cello, bass, some piano

today was my first day of recording after a while. i worked with a great cellist/bass player on 3 scores, and one song that happened to pop in my mind while we were rehearsing. so glad it did because it's my favorite so far. so fun. for those who have heard me perform my "deleted scenes from the fairytale" aka the song that degenerates to tonal chaos at the end, that is the song i'm talking about. so glad we did it!

and i recorded
all over again
like the turtle
your light

i've heard recording described rather morosely by a fellow musician as the "final state" of a written song. that it becomes engraved thereafter in whatever form you've given it. i think just the opposite is true because now that i am brainstorming all these ideas for my songs, i can see the multitude of live possibilities. you have ONE solid recording, and fabulous variation in performance. it's both. it's the thing you can hold onto and the ephemera.

i haven't slept in days from the excitement and to-do list, so i will leave on that note.

pronounced playful peace,
porter

post-jersey

i played my first gig in new jersey on friday night.

pros:

1) my violinist, alex, played with me. it was the first time i heard a lot of the stuff she was doing on songs like "all over again" and "pre-loved" because she had been practicing on her own. i was so touched. and it sounded REALLY good. she makes me want to be a better player. it's always good to have people like that around, don't you think?

2) the people who worked there were very nice. i always appreciate that.


cons: driving from my house to new jersey took me 3 hours!

1) i picked alex and her girlfriend up on the way. i thought because the gig was "15 minutes" from their apartment on the upper east side, that it would take, well, 15 minutes to ge there. NOT SO. friday night traffic. oh my. i had no idea.

2) we arrived about 45 minutes late (read 1)

3) no one bought any cds or really talked to me afterwards. i played for a packed room of high school students studying for mid-terms (or homework... on a friday night????). people listened, but the whole event felt rather pointless in that respect.

on saturday, after playing at a borders in white plains, alex and i practiced a whole bunch. i am REALLY excited about this musical partnership. i am also going to go and put notices up at the local universities to find some percussion, cello, clarinet, and/or flute action. anyway, exciting journey...

a little autumnal

autumn is

pumpkins, squash,

sugary leaves,

a winding down,

dry and bristly,


i performed at a borders in manchester ct last friday. it was the day before my birthday. i drove 2 hours in rush hour to be there. i gave up a trip to california (to be with my family on my birthday) because it was "educator's weekend"--a special event.

i was late. there was hardly anyone there. and there was little enthusiasm to help my set up.

BUT THEN EVERYTHING switched. i was on the verge of tears because of what i thought i gave up to be there when it hit me that there wasn't anything more important than what i was doing at that moment. it didn't matter if no one was listening or no one cared. i don't perform FOR other people, i perform IN FRONT OF people.

and when i made that decision people started listening, buying cds, signing my mailing list.

the guy who set up my speakers told me how much he was enjoying the music when i took a break.

after i played, this teenager came up to me and went "this is rididulous. you should not be playing here. you should have a record deal. you are too good to be playing here." (*i regret not giving her a cd, because that's definitely the coolest compliment i've ever gotten.)


anyway, i'm not sure
why i constantly need to be re-reminded of why i do this
and why
there is no call for worrying about whether or not it is
"working"
the more faith i put in WHATEVER i'm doing,
the more i get out of it
that's the truth i need tattooed on my retina,
so that my outlook is always tinted with the BIGGER PICTURE

when i focus on the myopia, it all just unravels.